001.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

I don’t mean to be rude or anything but I didn't plan on starting this week by joining a new cult. I’m sure you’re all very nice people but the email tag is super sketchy and invasive. Especially with what's been going on in the news lately. This stuff is totally the last thing California needs.

Only-

This is all very odd.

How do you even deal with this anyway? I mean If one of you says “I’m Athena Goddess of War” or whatever and the next person says, “Oy, I’m Irish and my brother is the God of War so put that in your pipe and smoke it!” who even wins? How can two people, deities, be of the same thing without causing a time ripple whenever they go near each other? Or do you cause a time ripple? Is that why you have to go all google on each other instead of talking in your face places?

Sorry. I guess it’s none of my business. You all seem like very interesting people. Uh. When I'm famous this will be a really good story to tell Conan.

Enjoy?

Comments

[blood-dog.insanejournal.com]

Honestly? Pretty much, give or take so don't take it personally. I'm not good at soft and cuddly and, believe me, you wouldn't thank me if I tried. The name is Lukas Volkov but, around here, I go by Ares.

Don't worry about giants, by the way. Goliath wouldn't have a clue about what to do with a sweet young thing like you and I'd give him a smack if he tried to think of one.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

GOLIATH? Seriously? Nope Nope Nope. You think you're Ares and you're saying everybody's getting along? My Greekfu isn't strong but aren't you a 'grr arg' god? Blood and guts? I bet even your mortal life is crazypants from over here.

[blood-dog.insanejournal.com]

Yep and that is why I live in the middle of Nowhere, Montana. Coming back a few dozen times can make a man or even a god smarter about how to avoid pointless violence and manslaughter charges. As for getting along, we're not all BFFs, kiddo, but we aren't actively trying to kill each other and, in my book, that is like Woodstock all over again.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

So I won't be making any friendship bracelets? Good to know. What about the creepers who started sending out emails in the first place?

[blood-dog.insanejournal.com]

Not sure but I think they're also the source of the problems we usually have. Probably my damn grandmother and this other creepy asshole.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

Some little old lady and her tech minion are ruining deities lives? Dude. I know enough old people to know they can be totally scary but that doesn't seem right.

[blood-dog.insanejournal.com]

More like Gaia, big old creator goddess bitch, and some gothy freak. I don't have problems with old people. Just stupid, meddling people.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

CAPTAIN PLANET BAD GUYS? D:

[blood-dog.insanejournal.com]

This isn't a cartoon, sweetheart. Just a friendly warning. Don't worry, though. There's enough of us, as you put it, "grr arg" types to field the head-on violence.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

What? Are you guys really building an army like it said on the news?

[blood-dog.insanejournal.com]

If you heard it on Fox News, no. Nothing like they said. If you heard it on a different news network, I plead the fifth. But trust me when I say most of us are pretty live and let live about the whole situation.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

I guess if I've believed you so far about the rest of this junk trusting you bout this isn't so bad.