On the News...

[metemmods.insanejournal.com]

Radio Station, New York City

"...and spring is definitely in the air. Unseasonably warm temperatures, plants bursting into bloom. Possible storms on the horizon, though. But the city is nearly shut down. Police are dealing with nearly constant reports of public lewdness and disturbances of the peace..."

News, Las Vegas, Nevada

"...reports of a four-armed black woman, terrorizing citizens. No one has been hurt, but the property damage is significant. Scholars at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas are claiming she fits the description of the Hindu goddess Kali. Some are claiming it is a second coming, of sorts, or even the end of the world..."

Radio Station, Chicago

"Well, so much for the first day of spring! Temperatures are well below normal for this time of year, so make sure you're bundled up. No major storm systems have been detected on radar, but there is a possibility of snow later today..."