Metempsychosis

The Dallas Morning News

A grisly discovery in a dormitory of Texas A&M in College Station early Saturday morning leads authorities to believe that drugs are once again a problem in our country’s young adult population. Five students, two women and three men, were found eviscerated after what is being described as an alcohol and drug induced orgy. Evidence of alcohol abuse was present, but no drug paraphernalia was immediately evident. Police suspect the drug Ecstasy was responsible since all of the victims were found nude and in compromising positions, but an official conclusion must wait for the full toxicology report before and investigation can move forward. The names of the victims are being withheld until….


WTXF Fox 29 Morning News

“Good morning, Philadelphia. I’m Jessica Blaine and this is your morning news.” The blonde with plastic appearance making her seem anywhere between the ages of 35 and 50 looked a little pale as she addressed her tv audience.

“Neighbors and local authorities alike were shocked last night when a standard noise complaint in the affluent neighborhood in Swarthmore resulted in a patrol officer coming on to a scene straight out of a snuff film.”

The announcer paled even more as a video clip appears beside her of three ambulances and two police cars in the driveway of a Colonial style mansion. Bodies are being removed from the house and loaded into the emergency vehicles while the police struggle with a woman wearing a dominatrix costume covered in blood, a lot of it centered around her mouth.

“Police discovered that Miss Natalie Worth of the residence has operated a swingers club out of her home for the past ten years, but according to interviews with the immediate neighbors, this was the first time there had been a complaint about the noise. Police arrived to discover Miss Worth in the act of..oh god..consuming some of her guests who appeared to have been viciously attacked and killed. Miss Worth is being charged with resisting arrest, assault of a police office, several counts of murder….”


Idaho Statesman

Fifteen Dead at Known Aryan Militia Encampment

…authorities are seeking information on what could have caused men not known for having homosexual tendencies to sexually assault and kill each other while their…


Lincoln Journal Star

Tragedy at Local Retirement Community Leads Authorities on a Bizarre Manhunt

…security cameras caught a glimpse of a possible person of interest leaving the gated community shortly after the riot broke out. She has not be identified but is described as a Caucasian woman in her mid to late twenties, shoulder length red hair, approximately five foot eight inches in height. Police are considering her possibly armed and dangerous so the public is encouraged to not appro….


And in Seattle, Dionysus awakens feeling refreshed and rested.