001.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

I don’t mean to be rude or anything but I didn't plan on starting this week by joining a new cult. I’m sure you’re all very nice people but the email tag is super sketchy and invasive. Especially with what's been going on in the news lately. This stuff is totally the last thing California needs.

Only-

This is all very odd.

How do you even deal with this anyway? I mean If one of you says “I’m Athena Goddess of War” or whatever and the next person says, “Oy, I’m Irish and my brother is the God of War so put that in your pipe and smoke it!” who even wins? How can two people, deities, be of the same thing without causing a time ripple whenever they go near each other? Or do you cause a time ripple? Is that why you have to go all google on each other instead of talking in your face places?

Sorry. I guess it’s none of my business. You all seem like very interesting people. Uh. When I'm famous this will be a really good story to tell Conan.

Enjoy?

Comments

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

Um I mean, no offense but would you even know it was a cult once you were in it? How can it get worse? But fine. I'm Britney. And you seem all reasonable and junk so I won't ask you if you think you're the Nose Goddess of whatever.

I'm going to be an actress. I'm guessing that's why you got my email address.

[the-all-mother.insanejournal.com]

Well we haven't had anyone in robes saying how our spirits are going to ascend to Venus after drinking spiked wine, so I'm fairly certain we're not in a cult. As for how it could get worse..that's a lot to explain.

Actually none of us here contacted you. ..Let's just say for now there are two cyber-stalkers that none of us have been able to find yet.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

See when you put it like that it sounds way more fun than what I was thinking. Do you have an elevator pitch version of reality I can go with?

Wait though... So they can read this right now and you don't know why they are or what they want? But we keep typing anyway?

[the-all-mother.insanejournal.com]

Not sure, sweetie. Frankly to someone hearing it for the first time it can't help but sound weird. I can try and explain things, but little of it would sound logical.

Yeah..not ideal but we really have little other means of communicating with each other.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

Fine, I guess. Um, So who is Tess then? Besides all mothering lady who isn't weirded out by this. How are you so cool with it all?

[the-all-mother.insanejournal.com]

Oh I'm still weirded out by it all at times, you just get used to it bit by bit.

Who is Tess? Well at the risk of sounding crazy, my original name was Frigg.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

Gateway emails are even worse than gateway drugs.

I knew it! Wow, I was just asking what you do for a living. So when I guessed Norse I was right? What's the Norse equal-ness to a cult? I mean it's the best pantheon so 'go team' congrats.

[the-all-mother.insanejournal.com]

Very true.

Oh, whoops. I'm a wedding planner actually. But cat's out of the bag, yes I'm Norse. Honey, I assure you we're not a cult.

Best? Why do you think that?

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

That's a pretty cool job! I guess once you declare yourself all Goddessey, and after that whole monster thing, you don't have to be scared of Bridezillas anymore.

I dunno. It's the one I know the most about. And I know mythical Frigg was supposed to of been kind and authoritative and all that other important stuff. Son named Baldr. Everybody ate a lot of fruit. Loki is terrible. The greatest hits of junk.

[the-all-mother.insanejournal.com]

Oh trust me, there are still plenty of Bridezillas, and Groomzillas for that matter. The giant snake was almost easier to deal with.

You studied Norse myth? You sound like you have a basic knowledge of things.

[rejuvenator.insanejournal.com]

And no smiting? It seems like Goddesses should get smiting dibs.

Not really. Not much of a school person. Doesn't everyone know that much? Norse is all fashionable right now.