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[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Uhmm... Hello? So, I got this email, and here I am.
I don't know if I've missed a worldwide memo here or something, because I have no idea what this is. I mean, I get a lot of anonymous mail—you know, fan mail, proposals, and such—but this is creeping me out more than usual. I must have also missed some technological advancement, since I'm pretty sure printers had to be turned on before they spewed out papers.

Just to make things clear, I'm Nathaniel Gallagher, age 21, male model yes, contain your orgasms.
Again, if anyone could kindly explain the situation, I'd be very much entitled to rewarding someone with a nice dinner or a glass of wine.

Comments

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Easy boy, I know you're excited from eating oysters while in your seashell bras and shit, but "Melpomene" here told me your name.

Well, I'd say I'm quite happy with where my talents have gotten me. Useful as useful gets.

Troops? Battle? Well, aren't you a big boy. Daddy must be so proud.

[heraldofthedeep.insanejournal.com]

She has quite the way of handling things.

In any case, the ordinary mortals aren't so thrilled with our presence. Some are calling for our extermination. I, for one, will not go down without a fight. I do serve my father's command, and I will do all I can to ensure the Olympian throne goes to him once this race reaches that point.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

I've noticed. Just between you and me, I think she wants me. Feel free to join in once we get it on.

Daddy's boy deserves a gold star! Maybe if you were a bit less frigid, people wouldn't want to exterminate you--appeal to the masses and all. Seeing as I've certainly had no death threats, maybe this pretty face is doing something right.

[heraldofthedeep.insanejournal.com]

I wouldn't provoke her if I were you. Not if you value your looks and your life. She's unbalanced enough normally, and right now she's unbalanced and hormonal. Take your risks where you like, but I personally prefer to survive my sexual encounters.

The Princeton campus rallies under my leadership. It's not a problem of charisma. It's more a knee-jerk response of small-minded humans who've been forced to admit their pathetic bubbles of security have just been shattered. Don't be surprised if they turn on you, regardless of how you look, once they know who you really are.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm sure you get laid all the time.

Babe, even I don't know who I am.
I'm sure you'll get on fine and dandy with your whole world domination thing. You'll figure out how short-lived leadership can be when your subjects hate you, and I'm pretty sure people start to hate you once you call them simple-minded. Word of advice: read some Machiavelli, and check out this guy called "Hitler". Have a nice day, babe.

[heraldofthedeep.insanejournal.com]

I sincerely doubt my sex life is of any interest to you.

And, as someone who has read Machiavelli's writings beyond just The Prince, I can tell you the entire piece is very much a tongue-in-cheek work. But I am only the heir-apparent of the Kingdoms of the Sea and the lieutenant of my father's armies. The true power lies with him.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Oh, but of course it is, babe. Tell me all your favorite positions.

Nah, never read any of it. Coincidentally, I only know it from the ramblings of some french lieutenant trying to entertain me in bed. I could hook you two up; you'd be perfect for each other.

[heraldofthedeep.insanejournal.com]

What on earth makes you think you're entitled to any of that?

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Have you left the conversation? You're quite interested in me--maybe not physically, I admit. You know you want to see more from me. I'd say we're friends now, babe.

[heraldofthedeep.insanejournal.com]

We're not friends. We're cousins. Let's leave it at that.