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[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Uhmm... Hello? So, I got this email, and here I am.
I don't know if I've missed a worldwide memo here or something, because I have no idea what this is. I mean, I get a lot of anonymous mail—you know, fan mail, proposals, and such—but this is creeping me out more than usual. I must have also missed some technological advancement, since I'm pretty sure printers had to be turned on before they spewed out papers.

Just to make things clear, I'm Nathaniel Gallagher, age 21, male model yes, contain your orgasms.
Again, if anyone could kindly explain the situation, I'd be very much entitled to rewarding someone with a nice dinner or a glass of wine.

Comments

[venusingucci.insanejournal.com]

Oh, goodness, my sweet boy, is it really you?

Ah, yes, the same welcome we all got. It's quite a lot to explain, dear boy.

Tell me you remember me. You have to. I'm your mother, for goodness' sake. Callista Lovelace, darling, editor-in-chief for Mode Moderne.

Meanwhile, you say you do modelling? I've been dying for new talent to promote my men's collection. Perhaps we could get together and discuss opportunities?

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Is that so? Well, I'd appreciate if someone would start then.

It's wonderful to have stumbled upon such a lovely lady as you.
even if you're probably some crazy and delusional old hag when you're not on the internet
Haha, I'm always willing to share my talents. Though, a top-rated model such as I will have a fairly steep price.

[venusingucci.insanejournal.com]

It'll be a lot to take in, like I said. Especially since you're not showing any signs of recognition...

I tell you what. We meet somewhere, perhaps over coffee or dinner. I tell you what you need to know about this place, and in return, we see if you'll be a good fit for what I need to promote my designs.

[roseredheart.insanejournal.com]

I know you!

Oh! Hi there. I'm Erato Amanda. I'm a Classics student at the University of Washington in Seattle.

I'm guessing you've realized you're... different from other people? If so, that's why you're here. Um. You might have heard what happened back in March? That was us.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Hello to you too, lovely. Educated young women like you are always a delight and monsters in bed.

I've realized that a long time ago. Any other boy doesn't get where I am right now if he weren't special. Being the special little model that I am, I was off in Asia for a shoot last March.

[roseredheart.insanejournal.com]

Um, thanks. Achilles won't like you flirting with me.

I'm sure that's true. And, oh, that must have been so exciting being in Asia! You're very lucky. But, here, well... I suggest looking up news stories from March 20th and 21st. It'll explain a lot.

[heraldofthedeep.insanejournal.com]

Well, well.

I hope you have more than just a pretty face to your assets, Mr. Gallagher. You've just entered a war zone.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Never underestimate a pretty face, boy. For all you know, this pretty face could be your demise.

So, warzone? Pray tell, which brand of crazy are you?

[heraldofthedeep.insanejournal.com]

It takes far more than a pretty face to bring me down.

I'm guessing you haven't been paying attention to the news? The so-called Godling Threat? The one making the Christian Right apoplectic? You've just been recruited to our side. Congratulations.

[acratophorus.insanejournal.com]

A GLASS OF WINE, WELL DON'T MIND IF I DO

Welcome, I'm Dionysus Chaz. I'd explain, but I'm not good at explaining. All I can say is that there's high weirdness all up around here, and my advice to you is to have a lot of wine and go with the flow just like we used to.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

You. I'm already liking you. Raging alcoholics are just the best toys.
Tell you what, if things start to get too weird for my tastes over here, I'm gonna go have a glass of something expensive, get drunk, then obviously get laid. Feel free to join me.

[aegletes.insanejournal.com]

Oh, ho! I was wondering how long it'd take before you got here.

Dorian Cyrus--the Dorian Cyrus, naturally.

I wonder how much you remember, Squirt.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Dorian Cyrus. Dorian Cyrus. Slightly rings a bell. Aren't you that guy who plays whatever the fuck instrument that is the guitar? I hear you have quite an appeal to little girls in pink. Good for you!

Waiting for me? I see... So, are you the one who brought me here? Which one of my fans are you? The one who sent me a g-string and a lock of his hair?

[aegletes.insanejournal.com]

More than just a guitar, and more than just little girls, although my nieces and nephews certainly adore me. But thanks!

Sorry, mate, it wasn't me who brought you here. I had nothing to do with it--I'm as much a victim of circumstance as you are. There's something big behind all this. We're not entirely sure what just yet.

You really don't remember me? Pity.

[inspiredvoice.insanejournal.com]

Everyone's being so careful. I wonder if you're fragile. Let's test it.

In order of appearance we have Aphrodite, Erato, Triton, Dionysus, Apollo and me, Melpomene. Welcome to the motherfucking fun house. Deal with your skewed reality now.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Nononono. No. Things like that can't be real, right? It's just not possible. Right. Impossible.

Oh, did I just crash some cosplay convention forum here?
Do you guys wear togas and sandals when you meet-up too?
Melpomene, the muse is it? I see paintings of you guys going around naked. I wouldn't mind you coming over to cosplay for me, babe. That's pretty kinky.

[inspiredvoice.insanejournal.com]

Not much more than a pretty face then. Figures. That or you're totally in denial. Or maybe it's just both. I'd say "when you get with the program, let me know", but I really don't give a damn.

[blackdestroyer.insanejournal.com]

You got dragged into this shit too, huh, kid? It's pretty fucked up. Something about being ex-gods or shit. I'm barely making sense of it either. Just roll with it. You'll survive.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Yes, dear god, I am drowning in shit right now. Nice to know I'm not the only one.
I'm not sure how to respond to this ex-god thing, which I'm supposedly part of too. Though, I need some answers. So, not that I'm agreeing to any of this, but for now, I'll stick around.

So, which god/goddess are you? :).

[inked-oak.insanejournal.com]

Hey! Guess I'm not the new guy anymore.

Alan Cleary. I'm a high school teacher here in Kansas City. Welcome to the group!

So... Which one are you? Back in the day, they used to call me Ogma.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Hey there, Alan. Thanks for the warm welcome.
Am I performing well as the next "new guy"?
I'm glad to tell you that I haven't gone crazy just yet. Unless, that's what everyone here's aiming for.

Well, I used to be called Natey Boy, if that's what you're asking. If you're referring to gods, I have no clue.

[womanontop.insanejournal.com]

Hello Nathanial. I'm Ebony Duron, or Lilith if you like. I know how confusing this all must be, but it'll get easier once you've had time to adjust.

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Hello to you too, Lilith. I would kiss your hand, but the internet doesn't allow me that pleasure; she's a jealous little mistress like that. I must say, I'm astounded by the abundance of beautiful ladies over here.

I believe I'm adjusting well enough to the people, though not so much to the god thing. Maybe it'll come back to me over time? Haha.

[asphodelcrowned.insanejournal.com]

Oh, HI!

I'm Seph!

[mauvaisgarcon.insanejournal.com]

Hello there, Seph. Thank you for the chipper greeting.
It's nice to have a ray of sunshine in this fairly gloomy forum.
Haha, how do you fare with all this mess?